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Wait a minute, all this crap I'll never use is free? Sign me up. Sign-ups are free, right?
Good god, making a man watch a whole baseball game? In one sitting? The Geneva Convention exists for a reason, you savages!
You may have never actually worked out on this exercise machine, but at least you broke a sweat moving it in and then throwing it out?
Your crappy hometown is the #1 tourist destination for every traveler that needs to go there so their parents aren't sad!